Breaking up is hard to do, but dating is worse

Well I haven't been focused enough to write a lengthy sleep deprived, self loathing blog entry lately but never fear- that very occasion is here! Lately I've been drinking like my tab is the number of people wanting to donate me new livers. I've decided to ease up just to make sure the whites of my eyes stay white, if you know what I mean. Through this going out, I've been encountering some of the most horrific humans. Train wrecks, if you will. How the hell are you supposed to find a hot/smart/awesome/computer skilled boyfriend with selections like that? I should probably give internet dating another shot. It just sucks to have to go through that hassle! You know, you think you're going to meet this guy:

But then this guy shows up:

And if that wasn't bad enough he'll spend the rest of the date telling me how living with his mom and having no job ruined his last relationship. What a priceless gem, how could she be so dumb as to let him go! This isn't far off from a true story actually. The last internet date I went on, we went out to dinner and he talked for a half hour about why all of his friends and everyone he encounters on a daily basis thinks he's gay. He must have listed every reason possible except for the small little fact that he was wearing a pink sweater and carried a man-purse. Ding, ding ding, and we have no winner!

A few People have recently told me after having listened to me bitch that my standards are too high. Maybe I should lower my list of standards they suggest. Well, that is what I will do now and for you to delight in reading. Here is my old list of standards:

Tall, funny, intelligent, artistic, outgoing, sweet, gentle, thoughtful, likes computers, enjoys drinking and eating, likes animals and children, family oriented, and mature.

My new list will now read:

Bathes.

I hope you, dear sweet blog reader, understand that the dating world is rough, it's mean and most of the time really ugly. The older you get, the harder it will become to find someone. Everyday that passes, I get closer to being the crazy cat lady. I used to hate cats actually, I like them now...coincidence? I think not.