Love and Lame start with the same letter for a reason!

Okay, I know I said I'd only wield the blog power for good but today I've had a lot of pent up anger that not even my AA sponsor wants to hear about. (Yes, the sponsor thing was a joke, drunks don't go to meetings) Absolutely all of my friends are in relationships and I should be happy for everyone but I secretly wish their penis's and vaginas would close and shrivel and on dates they'd only be able to watch movies they hated. Maybe I'm jealous? Mostly I'm disgusted. Why do people radically change when they get in a relationship? They become this relationship blob, where there was once two awesome people, there is now a blob of boring alienating personality-less romance. Why do couples only like to do things with other couples? I'll tell you why! Because single people can see how disgusting they are and remind them of the days they were free thinkers. The days before their partner became their dictator ...partner, HAH! I laugh at that word. I am bitter, yes it's true. With due reason! If one more person calls or messages me to tell me how fucking happy and in love they are, I'm going to start tranquilizing you people like they do to horny animals in the zoo.