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Greatest find EVER!!

As anyone who reads my blog knows- I HATE SARAH SILVERMAN!! She is one of the worst people in show business and deserves to to be put on one of those has been VH1 shows. With that said, after posting about Paris Hilton below, I decided to find a video of her being a skanky anorexic coke whore and instead found a video of Sarah Silverman bashing Paris Hilton- what are the odds?

Although she makes some valuable commentary for Paris to absorb, she still sucks at life. I just found this find to be completely coincidental and worthy of sharing.

Move over Martha, Paris is getting bottom bunk

Besides resembling holocaust victims, Paris Hilton has recently found herself in more trouble than just being banned from cities hottest night clubs. That's right, the skinny bitch will be going to the slammer for 45 days!
Known for making the wisest decisions, the little genius drove with a suspended license and then claimed she didn't know it was suspended because her publicist didn't tell her. Meanwhile, she had the form that SHE SIGNED in the glove compartment stating she understood that she had signed over her license and wasn't to drive a vehicle. Now she'll face broom handles shoved in holes by giant diesel dykes - "That's hot" will be replaced with "I'm still bleeding." What I don't understand is why she even needed to drive, the girl is apparently extremely rich why doesn't she have someone toting her coked up ass around in a bently like normal celebrities? Driving home from a club drunk with your loud mouth guido 'fire crotch' screaming friend while talking on a cell phone doesn't make you cool, leaving in a limo to go to diary queen DOES!
A recent poll conducted by Wired 96.5 asked listeners if they felt 45 days was too long- over 8,000 people people responded and of those only 2% thought it was too long! Comments made included "She's a spoiled brat, I'm glad this happened to her" and "It's about time, I hate her."

I think Americans are finally sick of Paris Hilton, I know I am.

400 lb Jessica

I was surfing the web for some inspirational 'fat girl' pics to post on my fridge to remind myself that summer is coming when I stumbled across the story of a 230lb 5 year old.

How in the hell are these parents not in jail was my first thought, that is definitely a form of child abuse! My second thought was why is Maury such a homo? That's neither here nor there, the fact is this is just plain sickening!



I looked this girl up to see whats going on with her now. By 7 years old she was over 400 lbs!! She was apparently court ordered to be put into a pediatric hospital for a diet. Check out the video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WwMbJ68IbAM

The next part of this story kind of made me laugh way too hard- Richard Simmons gets involved. His big gay ass has apparently been running an exercise studio called 'Slimmons' in Beverly Hills and he flew the fatty and her mother out for free work outs. The girl is now 9 years old and 150 lbs. I guess sweating to the oldies really does work!

More on the story here:
http://www.figurelicious.com/400-pound-jessica

Hot dates!

Just wanted to remind everyone that I'm still single and haven't been on a date in awhile. It is really starting to seem like lately everyone is back in relationships and now even talking marriage!! It gives me great comfort to know there are still single people out there and I have the feeling the following people are and will always be single as well :

Zooey of the month

Hopefully much like my landlord, you'll cut me a break for not posting this on the first of the month.

The effects of Bragelina

It's about time someone started making fun of those two assholes. Rumor has it they were asked to leave a hotel for having sex too loudly.
A. I want to see some sort of sex tape
B. Where were their 500 adopted kids?? They better launch their own 'Brad & Angelina' clothing line soon to put me at ease because they're buying up all the sweatshop workers! I need new shoes.
C. No seriously, wheres the sex tape