The mind of Barbie

Friday, January 26, 2007

Quizzes ease boredom

I'm pretty bored waiting for my sister to return from having a life on the outside. I figured I'd do some of these corny little quizzes. I picked only the best ones I figured my readers would want to know about.

Am I a sociopath? This is a burning question on everyones mind, I'm sure.


You Are 36% Sociopath
From time to time, you may be a bit troubled and a bit too charming for your own good. It's likely that you're not a sociopath... just quite smart and a bit out of the mainstream!
People Envy Your Compassion
You have a kind heart and an unusual empathy for all living creatures. You tend to absorb others' happiness and pain. People envy your compassion, and more importantly, the connections it helps you build. And compassionate as you are, you feel for them.
And look at that picture, it's me strangling a small animal which ties right into the first quiz.

What kind of intelligence do I have? (If any)

Your Dominant Intelligence is Linguistic Intelligence
You are excellent with words and language. You explain yourself well.
An elegant speaker, you can converse well with anyone on the fly.
You are also good at remembering information and convicing someone of your point of view. A master of creative phrasing and unique words, you enjoy expanding your vocabulary.
You would make a fantastic poet, journalist, writer, teacher, lawyer, politician, or translator.


Hah, they forgot dictator and master blogger. Idiots.

Am I immature? This one will probably appeal to my mom (my only blog reader)

You Are Somewhat Mature
You definitely act like an adult sometimes, but a big part of you is still a kid at heart.
While your immature side is definitely fun, you're going to have to grow up sooner or later.



What's my dating purity?

Your Dating Purity Score: 75%
You are an under-experienced dater.
This doesn't mean you're unexperienced - far from it.
It just means that there's a lot of romance left to discover!


Big surprise there, le sigh. I think I've discovered the reason my dating purity is of such holiness from this next quiz...
How scary am I?

You Are a Little Scary
You've got a nice edge to you. Use it.


How normal am I?

You Are 40% Abnormal
You are at high risk for being a psychopath. It is very likely that you have no soul.

You are at high risk for having a borderline personality. It is very likely that you are a chaotic mess.

You are at low risk for having a narcissistic personality. It is unlikely that you are in love with your own reflection.

You are at low risk for having a social phobia. It is unlikely that you feel most comfortable in your mom's basement.

You are at low risk for obsessive compulsive disorder. It is unlikely that you are addicted to hand sanitizer.


hahahahahhahaha

What personality disorder do I have?

You May Be a Bit Dependent...
You're more than a little preoccupied with being abandoned.
You need a lot of support in your life, at all times.
It's difficult for you to survive on your own...
And you don't reallly think you ever could.


How sarcastic am I?











posted by Barbie @ 12:23 PM 0 comments

Sunday, January 14, 2007

My poem

I write poems when I'm bored. Actually I write poems while everyone is enjoying a social life. Here, enjoy...

Exhaustive conjunction of formality and love

the sedatives of trust worn away

faithless searching of a lost hope

the love of a lover who won't stay

inevitable conceptualizations

trails of forever lost rolling down her cheeks

splintered lies stabbing in veins

no magic phrase to speak

serpentined emotion

lost between whos to blame

residual loss of feelings

until they're just another name

posted by Barbie @ 2:28 AM 0 comments

Breaking up is hard to do, but dating is worse

Well I haven't been focused enough to write a lengthy sleep deprived, self loathing blog entry lately but never fear- that very occasion is here! Lately I've been drinking like my tab is the number of people wanting to donate me new livers. I've decided to ease up just to make sure the whites of my eyes stay white, if you know what I mean. Through this going out, I've been encountering some of the most horrific humans. Train wrecks, if you will. How the hell are you supposed to find a hot/smart/awesome/computer skilled boyfriend with selections like that? I should probably give internet dating another shot. It just sucks to have to go through that hassle! You know, you think you're going to meet this guy:



But then this guy shows up:



And if that wasn't bad enough he'll spend the rest of the date telling me how living with his mom and having no job ruined his last relationship. What a priceless gem, how could she be so dumb as to let him go! This isn't far off from a true story actually. The last internet date I went on, we went out to dinner and he talked for a half hour about why all of his friends and everyone he encounters on a daily basis thinks he's gay. He must have listed every reason possible except for the small little fact that he was wearing a pink sweater and carried a man-purse. Ding, ding ding, and we have no winner!

A few People have recently told me after having listened to me bitch that my standards are too high. Maybe I should lower my list of standards they suggest. Well, that is what I will do now and for you to delight in reading. Here is my old list of standards:

Tall, funny, intelligent, artistic, outgoing, sweet, gentle, thoughtful, likes computers, enjoys drinking and eating, likes animals and children, family oriented, and mature.

My new list will now read:

Bathes.

I hope you, dear sweet blog reader, understand that the dating world is rough, it's mean and most of the time really ugly. The older you get, the harder it will become to find someone. Everyday that passes, I get closer to being the crazy cat lady. I used to hate cats actually, I like them now...coincidence? I think not.



posted by Barbie @ 1:48 AM 0 comments

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Weird Al K-fed Interview

posted by Barbie @ 4:30 AM 0 comments

Britney Spears spoofs

Britney did a dateline interview with Matt Lauer recently where she showed up looking like a complete train wreck and chewed gum to the point of looking like a cow. She cried for most of the interview and when she wasn't she gave the most idiotic answers EVER. Here are two spoofs of the interview that had me cracking up!





posted by Barbie @ 3:55 AM 0 comments

Monday, January 08, 2007

Emo is out, but still funny







Okay this one isn't really 'emo' but for some reason I couldn't stop laughing at it. I think I found it so hilarious because the guy looks like a complete douche bag but its obvious in his own mind he is too sexy for a shirt.



Well, I was going to stop there but I found all these pictures of emo kids and I can't stop myself from posting the hideous side effects of a trend. Chances are this guy is the 6th grade heart throb too, idiot. He appears to be at the beginning stage of crying, probably because his mom forgot to put the 'i love you' note in with his packed lunch. The world can be so dark and cruel...






Are you friggin kidding me?? When did emo reach the elementary schools? When I was 7 I wasn't posting emo pictures of myself for the internet hotties. Whats with this world?

Then again maybe he has some disease where he never grows and he's actually 36.

That's worth being emo over.













I hope I've satisfied all of your emo-bashing needs.

posted by Barbie @ 2:48 AM 0 comments

You Have Your Sarcastic Moments
While you're not sarcastic at all times, you definitely have a cynical edge. In your opinion, not all people are annoying. Some are dead! Although you do have your genuine moments, you can't help getting your zingers in. Some people might be a little hurt by your sarcasm, but it's likely most people think you're hilarious.